MEET JEENU JOSEF... Blasian Boys are Better!

It is time you meet the other little super star in my life... JEENU JOSEF.

Jeenu is my first child. He is about 7 1/2 years old at the time I am writing this post. He was born on August 28, 2005... for some reason I always want to say 2006! 

Jeenu is his first name and Josef is half of his middle name.  I call him Jeenu Josef because I like the ring it has. The meaning of his first name is derived from two Korean words, one is "jinlee" or "jirlee" which means Truth/Honesty... the other is "ooh-jung", which means close friendship or the bond of friendship... Something like that.  The basic meaning behind his name is "and honest friend".

Me and Jeenu (25% Korean/75% Black)

Josef, his middle name was a tribute to Joseph from the old testament, who eventually became a high ranking official of Egypt despite his hardships. It is also in homage to my paternal grandfather "Papa Joe" whom I never met, though he knew I existed because he saw my mom pregnant with me the very year he died, and to my late uncle... my father's eldest brother whose middle name was Joseph.  This man played a major role in shaping my confidence and building my self worth and love at a time when  I was lost and depressed after losing my father soon after moving to America.  He was a dear friend to me for years until he recently passed away from complications caused by cancer.  I wanted my son to evoke some of his wisdom and strength as an intelligent, well rounded, caring black man with many accomplishments under his belt. I also felt Jeenu and my uncle would share a bond because I lived with my uncle the entire time I was pregnant with Jeenu and he took  good care of me, talking to my belly so that Jeenu could hear his voice, bringing home healthy dinners to keep my gestational diabetes in check, taking me to doctors appointments, listening to me whine about my aching body parts...

Jeenu did grow to adore this uncle. After phone conversations and only one visit at age 5; Jeenu spent two glorious weeks with my uncle and was hooked.  His death really crushed us both and I never new until then how much love and affection a small child can have for someone.  It made me heartbroken to see how upset Jeenu was at the news. I imagined how hard it must be for little kids who lose parents. For some reason, I told myself for a long time that small children do not really understand death and can move on easier than older people when they lose loved ones.

Jeenu is an outgoing boy. He makes friends easily as he is not shy. He is silly and thinks he is funny.  Sometimes he actually is.  He is an artist, constantly drawing and creating paper characters which he cuts out and decorates the walls of his room with.  He loves to talk. He loves to dance. He is taking an interest in instruments, banging away on the drums and keyboard. He fancies himself an actor, which prompted me to develop this talent by giving him a way to express his creativity through theatrical arts.  Jeenu stars in his own You Tube show entitled: Fun With Jeenu 

Jeenu seems to gain satisfaction from pleasing people, making them feel good, helping others and contributing to group efforts. He is always ready to help carry grocery bags from the car. He spends time with his little sister, showing her how to stack Legos and toss toys into a container to clean up. He sets the dinner table, straightens all the shoes in the hall (yes, we Koreans do not wear shoes in our homes), washes dishes and even offers to help me cook!  He has amazing compassion for others and a powerful notion of justice (he will tell you right away if something seems unfair, and is usually right). 


Jeenu and Jahyu Jaxin

He's got his quirks and flaws but in general, he is a great humble kid who is extremely well behaved and appropriately submissive. I cringe when I see kids his age rattling obscenities at their parents or kicking and hitting when they can't have their way. I have merely to speak my wishes to Jeenu and aside from the typical 7-year-old absent-mindedness, he is on point. 

Although I was devastated at the news of carrying a boy during my pregnancy with Jeenu, when I held him for the first time... I was so grateful to have a boy as my first born. The reason for this was that I felt so vulnerable and weak after my horrible C-section and couldn't fathom the same pain experienced by a female child someday. I was so overwhelmed by the responsibility that was snuggled in my arms that I felt relief and a burden lifted when I thought about the independence and strength I could instill in a boy.  I thought I would feel such pity for a girl, wanting to protect her from every ugly thing in the world. Yet holding Jeenu made me feel... stronger somehow. Like I could take on the world, knowing I had a future man on my team who'd lift me up when I felt weighed down...  I really felt like... having a son made it easier to deal with the drama and stress in my life at that time. I could be strong so I could set an example for him. If he had been a girl... I probably would have lost my mind and just drowned in the post partum hormonal cloud I was battling.

Jeenu Josef age 7

Jeenu really has been my rock over the years. I don't think he means to be.  He has this timidity about him that makes you want to hug him all day and tell him you love him. It's probably due to his petite stature. Most people think he is 2 years younger than his actual age!  But he is advanced in intelligence.  He is able to understand such complex situations, emotions and topics that most second graders don't even daydream about. He drops bombs of wisdom on me at various unexpected junctures... sometimes, I find myself wondering if a bit of my uncle's spirit didn't really find its way into my son.

The best thing about this little boy is he makes it easy for me to talk about our cultural diversity with him. He is so open to learning new things and embraces his Korean background gladly.  He is eager to learn the language, eat the food and participate in our traditions, he makes being Blasian super fun.

You'll be hearing more about this gem in my life. Thanks for reading! Please leave questions or comments below.
Be sure to Follow Jeenu on Twitter  @funwithjeenu
Follow Me for updates on my blog  @gypsiekoreana

check out his beats on www.djhandle.com under "Catalogue"

Say Hello To Jahyu Jaxin!

Hello Blasian Mothers (and Daddies!)!
I think it would be wise to introduce you to my kids, as I will be talking about them quite a bit.  I am writing separate posts about each child because I don't like to group them together. They are two different ages, different genders and totally different personalities. There would be no room for them both in the same post.

So let me start by introducing you to my baby girl, JAHYU JAXIN.  Yes, she has two first names. One is Korean... the word for "freedom" or "liberty".  It's pronounced like this: jah- rhymes with "la" or "ma"; and yu- like the word "you"... Jahyu, very easy.  Then her other name is said the same as "Jackson".

Jahyu Jaxin (2 mos)

Many people wonder why we named her Jaxin; whom she was named after, that sort of thing.  There really is no glamorous back story behind it.  It was a last minute addition. I'd already thought of her entire name by my 9th month of pregnancy... including a three part middle name and a hyphenated last name!  Her father mused that Jackson would be a cute name for a boy.  We joked that it would be a name wasted should we never have more children.  On a whim, I suggested we just toss the name onto the laundry list already in existence.  It made sense to attach it to her first name, as this was the only name with ONE part.  And being the unconventional person I am, I wanted the spelling changed. So I took off the ending and added XIN... that's how she earned her name.  I did like the ring of it, as it reminded me of great people whom I admire, such as Michael and Janet Jackson (musical geniuses), and I thought it would be cute for her to have a name that complimented her paternal grandmother's- "Janet" (get it? Janet and Jaxin= Janet Jackson!)  Yeah, I'm a freaking dork like that.

In our household we interchange all her names.  We gave her many names so she could choose the one she wanted to go by and not feel stuck with any particular name... something I wish I could have done.  I didn't want to name her after a bunch of other people either.  In Korean culture, it is considered somewhat unlucky to name a child after another person, especially dead relatives. A name means a lot and if you live your life being called someone else's name, it is thought that you will walk in their shoes... and that may have as many negative outcomes as positive. So Koreans believe in giving each child a fresh beginning by naming them something uniquely their own.  It also helps in eliminating confusion when more than one person in the family shares names. 

Little Jaxin was born at the end of 2011, on December 30th.  I recall hearing the New Year firecrackers sounding in the night sky from my hospital room, days after her birth.  Both her father and I were mesmerized by her features... I was surprised to have passed down so much of my mom's Asian looks.  Her hair was bone straight. Her skin had a reddish, yellow tint to it. Her fingernails looked perfectly manicured.  Her squinty eyes were tiny almonds. The color of her eyes were actually very light brown, which later turned gray and then finally settled to a chestnut hue. And, there was that tell-tale "Mongolian Mark" taking up a massive amount of space on her rump, something my first child, my sister and I had as infants. 

Jahyu Jaxin (approx. 15 mos)
25% Korean/75% Black

She was my dream baby. I originally planned to name her Sowunn, the Korean word for "Wish".  I had dreamed of being a mother to a little girl ever since I was aware of what a mother was.  I am a doll fanatic and I imagined collecting a variety of beautiful heirloom dolls to leave behind for my sweet daughter to play with and enjoy some day.  But when I had my first child at 20 by way of a traumatic C-section, it killed all hope of having any more kids, let alone a girl.  It didn't seem worth trying because I was only 50% guaranteed a female while 90% guaranteed another scary C-section.

Thankfully, it didn't turn out that way. And God answered my prayers to let the baby in my belly be a little girl... I would have been satisfied with just that, but I was doubly blessed with a gorgeous girl! 



Kimora Lee's daughters with Russell Simmons
Aoki Lee and Ming Lee (both 25% Korean)

I have so many aspirations for this child. I want her to have all the opportunities I didn't.  I want to shield her from every needless heart ache I ever went through. I want her to have self esteem so high, her rivals dub her "conceited"... but I want her to be down to earth and approachable as well.


Blasian Mom KIMORA LEE  with actor hubby and quarter Korean kids.

I want her to tap into every part of her being and learn to express herself as freely as the meaning of her name.  And I see the beginnings of this in her personality now... though only a year old, she is so independent and assertive.  She cannot speak yet but says so much through her actions and gestures. It is amazing how much potential these little ones possess at an early age and how much of that is stifled and suppressed by the time they reach adulthood.  I do not want that for her. I truly believe that through honesty, affection, encouragement and an open mind... I can help her to realize her full potential by the time she is in her late teens.  Most importantly, I want her to have a real sense of pride in being a multi cultural individual, blessed with the ability to relate to more than one group of people. I am determined to instill that in her. And I know I will.

Stay updated by following me @gypsiekoreana
Don't forget to visit my website to read more articles on www.djhandle.com

Blasian Mom Background

Welcome, my fellow Mixed Asian Mommies!

I decided to use this blog as a way to vent my feelings on motherhood...
Being a product of two distinctly different minority parents, I find I'm shaped into the woman I am today because of lessons learned observing and participating in these two cultures.

My mother is South Korean.  My father is predominantly Black American. 

 I do not use the term African American to describe myself or other Black people because I do not relate to "African" culture.  Africa is made up of so many nations, tribes, cultures and backgrounds, that it is the farthest thing from accurate to associate myself with this complex group of people.  I do acknowledge my father's ancestry can be traced back to Africa, but so can a lot of non-Black people's... and they surely don't go around calling themselves African American.  So I do not either.  I prefer "Black" or "Black American" because that is how I think of myself, a person of color who identifies with the culture of Black people born and raised for generations in the USA.  Again, let's not confuse terming Black people with a word that is a description of their culture, not necessarily their skin color. There are no "black" people, as most of us are shades of brown and yellow or some mixture.

Model, Tyson Beckford: 50% Jamaican, 25% Panamanian, 25% Chinese

I consider myself to be a one-point-fiver (1.5er), meaning I'm in between the 1st generation Korean adult immigrants and the 2nd generation Koreans who were born in the USA ( but retain much of their culture). 1.5ers are those of us who moved here at an age when we could still remember much of our time in Korea and had to assimilate into American life.

 My family permanently moved to America when I was around 8 years old.  I was stuck between two worlds because I spoke fluent Korean, thought in Korean and behaved Korean... while all around me were people that had physical traits that resembled mine more so than the Koreans "back home".  Though I was used to the Korean way of life, I was picked on and bullied a lot by the fair yellow Korean children who thought my unusual skin color gave them good reason to taunt me.




Me approx. age 7 (In Korea)

 Coming to America was a culture shock; nothing like the stories I was told by my father, nothing like what I saw in the movies. I saw violence, severe racism, poverty, fear and a very unsafe environment for young children.  In Korea, at 6 or 7 years old, it was not unusual for parents and guardians to let children roam the village and neighborhoods for hours and expect them back at lunch and supper time unharmed.  Half the time, we'd make new friends on our excursions and didn't need to introduce them or their parents to our own.  People were just trusting. The whole neighborhood was full of watchful eyes that peeked through windows, over rooftops, through walls and stone gates to ensure the safety of the children playing nearby.  Even teenagers hanging out with peers could be counted on to observe the village kiddies playing safely in the woods or on the hills.

But once we moved to America, all that changed.  We weren't even allowed to sit unattended on our front stoop.  Any passer-by whose eye contact lingered too long, our father was quick to warn us not to smile at  or answer back.  This was strange advice to me, as I was used to the Asian way. If an elder spoke to you, you politely spoke back. It was considered extremely rude to ignore any adult that approached or greeted you.


my daddy, in Korea

These differences were the start of a world of strangeness for me. I went into a slight depression, becoming an introvert (not my true nature), conversing only with my immediate family, preferring to speak Korean to my sister and mom and hardly speaking at all in English. I was picked on at school where the student body was mostly black.  The kids told me I talked "funny", some said I spoke like a "white girl".  This was bizarre to me as I wasn't aware of the underlying animosity between the black and white race in the USA. In Korea, foreigners were so glad to see another English speaker, most didn't care what  color you were. And I'm sure that feeling like an outsider amongst the Koreans did wonders to unite all non-Koreans.  Black or White, Indian or German... if you spoke a common language, foreigners were quick to make friends.  But in the States, the mere fact that my English didn't sound "ghetto" enough seemed to be good reason for my classmates to laugh at me. 

In losing all confidence, I didn't hesitate to shut myself off from others. I stayed on the sidelines, watching and listening until I was able to mimic the tone, vernacular and attitude of whatever cultural group I was around at the time. I was a chameleon of accents.  My exotic features helped me to blend in with almost any ethnic group... even white people seemed oblivious to my non-whiteness as I could speak proper English and most of them believed I was half white or definitely NOT black. 

As I have stated, race, racism, culture and ethnicity has played a major role in my life since childhood. When my father died within a year of our big move, my mother was forced to raise me with no help from family or friends in a country that seemed to have very little opportunity for her. She is educated with a B.A. in Fine Arts from a reputable university in Korea.  Her family is well off and she was legally a citizen long before my father's death. But all that seemed to contribute nothing to her outlook here. With two small girls to feed and care for, she struggled to no end to make it work for us... and we hit a lot of road blocks along the way.


My Mom (in yellow) & my 2 aunts (Korea)

One good thing I gained from those years, is being forced to translate for my mother whenever she hauled me into an office to meet with agents, reps or officials for some benefit or aid. I was so embarrassed back then. But at age 27, I have yet to run into many half Korean and black people who speak fluent Korean, in addition to reading and writing the language. Not only that, my mother was able to teach me a lot about my culture because she had no one else to speak her language to. I would not have gained so much knowledge if I had to rely on her broken English for guidance.  Thankfully, she can articulate herself to me in her native tongue.  It's great to shock full Koreans who see me and have no inclination that I can understand them or respond in Korean, no accent, no stuttering and in the correct form of "politeness" required.

What really inspired me to write this stuff is this thought that occurred to me; We Blasians truly are a minority within a minority. 

Amerie (Recording Artist) 1/2 Back & 1/2 Korean

Who do we relate to? Who accepts us? What groups do we belong to?  We're not Asian enough or Black enough, or American enough.  People have so many unfair expectations of us just because of the way we look.  When we find mates, there are so many complications that come with how they view us... especially Blasian women who are very sexualized thanks to rap music videos of the 2000's.  We're pretty much a trend in most people's eyes, and nothing more.

I strongly feel that there needs to be a way for us to connect better. Not compete. Especially once we become parents. It's hard enough trying to pass down the right morals and teachings to our children. Then add the pressure of explaining to them the importance of embracing both sides of their ethnicities, even if this means relating to a race that you don't necessarily see reflected in the mirror. 


Kimora Lee (Model) as a teen

 My goal as a Blasian mother is to give my children everything I gained inadvertently from having parents of two cultures... as well as a sense of confidence and self worth I did not gain until I was dang near an adult.  I want them to be proud of their heritage, not denying one over the other. I want them to speak their languages well, both English and Korean.  I don't want them to let anyone take away from them what is truly theirs, even if they are 25% Korean and some will try to belittle that.


Kimora Lee (Model) 1/2 Korean & Black

So here begins my chronicles of Blasian Motherhood; the struggles, the joys, the confusion, the concerns, the break-throughs, the experiments, the love and the insanity of raising well rounded, quarter-Korean offspring.

Gypsie Doll (aka Gypsie Koreana) ME!

I hope my readers will learn with me and take away something useful from this blog.
Kimchee and Chicken Wings!
Gypsie


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